How Leaders Deal with Closed Off People
What if an Employee is Efficient but Difficult?
There are all sorts of personality types in this world. There are the overly bubbly to the silent and stoic ones. But we have all learned not to judge a book by its cover, and we know that the outward actions aren’t necessarily an indicator of spirit.
But how do you deal with those people that are hard to deal with, but they’re not bad employees or members? They are a little closed off, perhaps they answer shortly as though they’re angry, they rarely make eye contact and smile seldom… Here at Big Sky Collision Center, we train leaders. Doing so helps us to provide you with the absolute best collision repairs.
Here are 4 points to consider when engaging with those that are hard to engage with.
There Mood is Not Your Mood
Grumpy people can drag you down. They can tend to drag everyone down. Whether they want to believe it or not, the way they engage others has a ripple effect. The biggest problem when engaging these types of people is that most of the time, we try to change their mood. We try to put them in the mood that we want them to be in.
Attempting to change someone else’s mood is never going to work. In fact, the opposite is going to happen. Instead of bringing them up, you get brought down and you’re filled with ire and frustration. Accepting the fact that their mood is not your mood is how you can keep moving forward.
Engage Their Emotions
In the world of sales you’re taught to sell emotionally. That is, people buy based on how something makes them feel. The same concept can be applied to those who are difficult. Engage their emotions in order to get the most out of them. Now, this isn’t a way to manipulate them or try to change their attitude.
There are some deep reasons that these individuals are grumpy, closed-off, or quiet. It’s not your job to figure out why, or to change it. Instead, engage their emotions by letting them know that you have heard and understand them. Give a compliment, and move on. The walls will come down eventually, and they need to know that you’re kind, loving, and trustworthy.
Steer Topics to Positivity
Steering toward positivity takes on two forms. First, you eliminate the negative. When you ask how they are, you skip questions like, “You look upset, what’s wrong?” or even, “How are you doing today?” this is a setup to unleash negativity. Instead, open with a compliment and not a response. Something along the lines of, “I love the outfit! Great to see you this morning!” They may stew on it, but their mood remains their own.
Second, you bring up the positive. Any time you engage them, you focus on what went well and how everyone is growing. Ask open ended questions; instead of “Did you learn anything knew from this project?” which will result in, “No.” Ask, “What insights did you gain from this project?”
Quit Trying to Be Friendlier
Too often we meet people that are in a sour mood, and our go-to is to try to cheer them up. How is that done? Usually by being perkier, friendlier, and more outgoing. Subconsciously we see it as a challenge: they’re withdrawn so we are going to be extra nice to them!
Every time this will backfire. They will be more closed off to you, and could see you as insulting or mocking them. Don’t be extra friendly, but treat them the same as you do everyone else. Be positive, complimentary, and supportive.
Big Sky Collision Center Fixes Vehicles
We have a saying around here: We train leaders, we just happen to be good at fixing cars. The idea is that when everyone steps up and takes ownership of their job, the job gets done even better and to a higher quality and standard.
If you need the best auto body repairs around, give us a call at 406-259-6328 and we can get you scheduled.